Target Audience: Parents
Don’t we all crave predictability? When we know what is happening and what is expected of us, there is less stress and anxiety. Worrying and self-doubt often happen when we are not quite sure what is going to happen next and when. The not knowing is what can cause a downward spiral in our thoughts and behavior, lead to significant stress, and result in pain, fatigue, and illness. While we cannot always know next steps or anticipate outcomes, we can arrange the known variables in our life in such a way that we can relax and live each day to its fullest. One way to accomplish this is to establish daily routines that can create a sense of stability even if there are unknowns in our life. Children and young adults particularly thrive when they can follow daily routines that remain more or less the same.
Once you have created your routines (i.e., morning, after school, nighttime), you want to be sure all of your family members know those routines. Here are some tips on how you can easily communicate daily routines for you and your family:
Post visual schedules in pictures for non-readers and words for readers so that everyone knows the plan for the day. This can be done via computer, chalkboard, bulletin board, or whiteboard. There are also many apps that help you create the schedules and either view them on a device or print them out. Cozi is a great app that can be shared with older children. Print weekly schedules and post them.
Highlight changes and unusual events in your schedule and then discuss them ahead of time so that everyone knows what is going to happen.
For children and adults who may have difficulty remembering all the tasks required during morning, after school, or nighttime routines, create a visual schedule of the specific steps involved in the routine. Some kids really like to check off completed steps while others like to see the routine outlined and posted in one place. Be sure to post it in a location that makes sense for the routine. For example, post the nighttime or morning dressing routine in the bedroom or bathroom.
Create a monthly calendar of family events and post the calendar. Everyone can look forward to enjoyable events and be prepared for those less preferred activities.
Use checklists and charts to outline chores, rules, and other expectations you would like to communicate (and track, i.e. chores). You can also use charts to track chore completion and make rewards easy to determine.
Although routines require some work up front, the pay-off can be huge. You may find your family is on top of things, less stressed, and more cooperative. They may even start asking, “What’s the plan?” and “Where is the schedule?”.
One last tip - establish a nice routine for yourself. Make Mondays your day to have lunch with a friend or colleague. Stop and get a coffee on your way to work or after you drop your kids off at school. Exercise on Fridays. Don’t forget to create your own sense of predictability in what seems to be an increasingly less stable world.