I was running on the treadmill at Lifetime Fitness when a quote popped up that said “It’s about progress - Not perfection.” For me, this quote is a great reminder that it is not reaching perfection that makes us good parents or good people. It is the journey towards self-awareness, exploration, and improvement that matters. We should not be overly focused on doing it “right” all of the time because, frankly, that is just not possible. We all make mistakes and that is okay. It is actually beneficial to model for our children what to do when a mistake happens. We all need to do a better job of acknowledging and accepting our mistakes and doing what is needed to fix the situation rather than merely focusing on the infraction and not making any attempt to “make it right.”

Consider the concept of the growth mindset. Our children are learning that it is not only okay but beneficial to make mistakes. Making mistakes makes our brain stretch, which in turn, helps us learn. The growth mindset encourages practice, hard work, and persistence to develop abilities. Doesn’t the growth mindset apply to being a parent too? Shouldn’t we be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them without feeling bad about it for days?

We should strive to be the best parent we can be (as opposed to being the perfect parent). This requires us to check in with ourselves and our children to be sure we are supporting our kids in a way that is right for them. We need to pay attention, listen, and talk to our children often. At times, it is also helpful for us to talk to parents or experts in order to gain a fresh perspective or a new approach to a parenting challenge.

Perfection is too much to ask of our children and too much to ask of us. Instead, let’s commit ourselves to ongoing learning as parents and to support one another in our efforts to raise happy, healthy, and resilient children.