One of the most important things we can do for our children is to give them the gift of our confidence in them. Kids need to know that we believe in them and in their ability to do hard things. But before we give them this gift, we have to give them the tools to be resilient. We have to show them how to deal with problems head on, to be resourceful on their own first and then ask for help if they need it, and to show gratitude to those who help them. We do this by modeling and guiding when challenges arise.

This is definitely easier said than done. As parents, we don't like to watch our kids being uncomfortable. We don't like watching them struggle. It is painful and heart wrenching for us. We would much rather deal with the problem for them, fix it, and move on. But this would not be doing them any favors. Rather, we need learn to sit with our own discomfort as we help our children deal themselves. We need to take a yoga class, go to the gym, take a walk with a friend, or take deep breaths so that we can manage our own emotional response to our children's difficulties. We do these things at the same time as we support our children as they handle the problem themselves.

As they learn more skills and gain more independence, we can gradually give them space to handle their own problems while repeatedly telling them that we love them and are here to support them all along the way. When they resolve a problem, their confidence in themselves grows exponentially. And for us, what starts as discomfort turns into pride. For me, these are the moments that make me think: "Okay, at least I did something right." I'll take it.